The Vow to Be PERFECT

Have you ever thought that you could of done better, done more, or should of been better at something you set your heart to?

There is an unconscious vow that very smart, very accomplished people take, that most achievers have a hard time finding any problem with it

The vow to always be perfect.

This 4th chakra vow seems innocent enough, because it sets a super high standard of quality and is a huge driver of motivation for most of us achievers.

Some of us try to be perfect all the time, and some people say, "No, I'm pretty balanced" , some will know, "Yes, I am a perfectionist, and a lot of people will say, "Nope, I don't think I have a need to be perfect or anything.....

But, if you look at past events at everything you've ever done, in your normal A++ ways, and you HABITUALLY look at them and say, " I could've done better ", "I could've been smarter" what you are saying to yourself energetically is, "I don't deserve to receive yet. I will some day, when I get it right"

This is why people who have this vow really strongly experience working and working and working, and somehow never really get the level of credibility, or position, or validation or reward in terms of money flow or savings, or just have their colleagues or bosses honoring them.

They never really feel like they are getting rewarded, validated or both for their efforts.

They strive and strive ... and never arrive.

Lets look at it a bit more deeply.

So, when you have this vow to be perfect a variety of scenarios can occur:

  • ​you never launch a product or service because it is not quite perfect yet.
  • ​you never market yourself fully, because .... you are not ready yet,

OR

  • ​you launch that product, or give that speech, or compete in a high level competition with FLYING colors of SUCCESS! People are raving and complementing you ... and you counter with, "yeah but, yeah but, I made this mistake or that ... and secretly notice all the things you could of done better ....

THAT IS SELF BLAME: and even though it feels true, it prevents you from feeling like you really deserve to be rewarded....

With self blame, comes Self punishment.... which can show up in a multitude of ways in your money like:

  • ​pay check to pay check living... even tho you command a large income
  • ​debt that never goes away no matter what you do
  •  income or savings that never grows past a certain level.

AND, fun fact, whenever you criticise yourself or someone else, you shut down your heart to them.  That means self blame, closes your heart to you.  

​So, how do you unlock the vow to be perfect? Great question.

Here's a COMPLETE  tapping script from my Master Your Money Story Program that will start to shake that powerful vow loose, so you can feel FREE to celebrate progress and attract the rewards that have been out of your reach.


Call in your Divine help,  take a few deep breaths and sink into your body, feeling your feet on the floor and your body supported in the chair.

Let your mind drift to an event where you thought you could of done better, or to an event you are putting off because you know you can …. do better … like a product or service launch, a talk, a webinar,

Really tune into the movie of you in this event and notice the part where you really should’ve known better, you really should of been better, or done something differently.
And see yourself there, making the mistakes or doing the thing that wasn’t good enough, or, the thing that was so stupid and you should of known better.

Lets tap:

There I am
what an idiot
I should of known better
I should of been better
I should of been smarter
I should of figured this out
I should of trained longer
I should of worked harder
and maybe people told me it was great
and I nodded to appease them
but inside
I knew ,,, It could of been so much better
and I really never let it go
why should I
I need to learn that lesson
because I am right about thi​s
I could of done it better
I should of done it better
and I am so right about that
and I am never going to say I am wrong
because I know, for a fact
that I could of done better
and I should of been smarter
I should of found a way to make it better
I should of figured it out
and there were a lot of consequences
and I am not going to let it go

Its not that I wont forgive myself
I am just disappointed,
I'm disappointed in myself
Again
I am always disappointed in myself
because I could of done better
and that makes perfect sense
I should of known better
 Should of done better
 I hold myself to very high standard
and I think that is a good thing
I am disappointed in myself
And I say that to myself a lot
and every time I do
I declare that I don’t deserve yet
and that is exactly what I am experiencing
I’m not paid well enough yet
I did not get the validation I deserve yet
People don’t see my amazingness
so I just put my head down
and keep striving harder
I don’t celebrate progress
I simply say to myself
I’ve got to be better
I should of known better
 I should of done better
This is how I motivate myself
Its a ruthless way of motivating myself
and I am always reminding myself
that I don’t deserve yet
Because I am not doing it right yet
and it has to be better
I have a vow to be perfect
To do everything right all the time
not to other peoples standard, their
standards are too low
but to my standards,
 my standards
and every time I  disappoint myself
I say I don’t deserve yet
and that is the EXACT result showing up for me
and I am just going to honor that
a lifetime of being hard on myself
and justifying it
a lifetime of never measuring up
never
I always have to be better
and my inner critic never takes a day off
I could of done it better
​This goes on day and night
sometimes it wakes me up
this feeling of
I could of done better
and it punishes me,
so I am calling it out for what it is
ruthless,
mean
a lifetime of being mean to myself
I took this vow to be noticed as special & lovable
to be of deserving of attention and praise
to protect myself from criticism
and rejection
to protect myself from the feeling of criticism and rejection
of not being good enough
not good enough to deserve.

I and I am just gonna honor all of that

honoring it all
honoring it all
honoring it all

breathe.

It is very common for sadness to come up from this…. this is the biggest tear jerker, even for cut and dry, matter of fact achievers…. Sadness and tears is really self compassion, and self compassion opens your heart to love honor and accept YOU.

So, if sadness is up for you,  pause this video and tap thru the points on all the sadness, so your heart can open and love YOU.  So you can feel deserving of reward, of love, of validation and acceptance.  

As you tap thru your tears, your mind may want to fight for control and say, What is the point of all of this? Like, I am just crying for no reason … this makes no sense.

Even if that comes up or something like that, continue to stretch your own limits about giving yourself self compassion…. because … and here is another SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLE, SPIRITUAL TRUTH… the moment you start to criticize, you shut down and break your heart for whoever you are criticizing….in this case, yourself,  and with other people, can you see how criticizing others can make it really hard to connect and love them?

Think of a very young child learning to play soccer while a ruthless coach stands over them and yells at them…”you could of been better, what are you doing? what are you thinking, you should know how to do this by now, what, are you an idiot?

Would you even let that happen?  Zero encouragement, zero praise, zero reward … only “ you should do it better”

NO, that makes NO sense at tall, yet that is what you’ve been doing to yourself all day everyday, probably your entire lifetime.  Because when it could of been better, no matte how hard you’ve work, you NEVER allow yourself to feel good and to feel accomplished to feel awesome.  It could of been better takes the praise and celebration and just beats it aside and says, I don’t deserve it yet.   and energetically the same will show up in your life.  
no reward
no validation, no real feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment inside … just empty… and having to do it better, or work harder always having to do more to prove yourself.

You will attract people and situations that have to keep proving to yourself with very little reward…
is that what you really want to keep happening for you?

So, when sadness, or grief comes up, tap to clear it.  There is no need to do it in a special way, just honor the sadness and grief as you tap on a point while the emotion comes up.

This will unlock and move the energy of sadness that has been locked down in your personal basement…. on the other side of all this tapping you will feel so much lighter.

It takes a tremendous amount of energy to hold down that grind and soldier on and get back to work, and be serious and not was a lot of time being emotional….that takes a TON of energy.

Lets clear some more:

This must of started when I was very young
I decided when I was really young
to become a little adult
and to be a little more serious about things
and I learned that I liked doing things well
and other people liked it when I did well to
But somewhere in there I decided I did not
want praise or support,
or did not get praise or support
and so I stopped allowing praise and support
I stopped myself
​From letting the praise of others get ​to me
because it was safer for me
to not even wan​t praise
It was safer for me to not need praise
to not need reward
so I stopped letting it in
and I focused on achieving
and my own inner standard
around perfection
I stopped looking for praise and support
because I never got it
maybe I got criticized
maybe I got ignored
maybe my parents were just clueless I needed all that
but either way
I become self reliant
to not need praise
to not need reward
so I stopped letting it in
And my inner critic has been
hyper vigilant,
looking for fault
looking for whats wrong
looking for what I could of done better
Its done such a good job
and I honor it
I am honoring my inner critic who
wanted to keep me safe
safe from criticism,
safe from abandonment
safe from crushing shame
I am honoring my inner critic
who is almost like an inner bully
I am honoring all the times
My inner critic has been hard on me
finding fault
finding what more I could of done.
And I justify all of this
I justify by setting an impossibly high standard
that I can never meet
that actually makes me feel hurt
and not enough
that has broken my own heart
and there is still a lot of sadness in my system
I really want to forgive myself for all of these things
I really want to forgive myself for falling short
I’d love to find a way to forgive myself fo​r not being
perfect all the time


I don’t know if I can forgive myself
I’m not sure I deserve to forgive myself,
but I am willing to look for some self compassion,
I am willing to look for some self acceptance

What if it is OK to be perfect and imperfect at the same time?
What if it is OK to be powerful and broken?
amazing and flawed?
What if I could love honor and accept those things about myself?
What if it is OK to just love myself anyhow
before I do, achieve, accomplish anything more?
What if it is OK to love myself anyhow
before I’ve proven anything?
I wonder if I can learn to love myself now
I wonder if I can honor that I”ve always been doing my best
I’ve always been doing my best
I’ve always been doing my best, and that is a fact.

yes, I am definitely willing to forgive myself for not being perfect
I am willing to forgive myself for not being better for not being perfect

I may not know who I am if I forgive myself for being perfect
But, Its safe to forgive myself for not being perfect

It's possible to forgive myself for not being perfect
I deserve to forgive myself for not being perfect
its possible to forgive myself for not being perfect

forgiving myself
forgiving myself
giving myself unconditional love
giving myself unconditional love

thank you
thank you
thank you.


OK,

more tears….. if you need to ​tap more on any resistance to you forgiving yourself for not being perfect go ahead and do that until it is clear and then and come back to this post and tap in the reward and deserving of being enough.

Ok, lets tap in some positive, so you can shift your power from striving with little to no reward, to arriving in style with joy, deservingness, fulfillment and reward.

What if it was OK to love myself now
Before I’ve done anything else
What if it is OK to say in this moment, I am deserving
to say, I deserve everything I am wanting.
and it is OK to want what I am wanting
to be validated
to be seen for my brilliance
for my amazingness
for my unique skills and talents
to been seen as a well compensated expert?
to be seen as a person of value and impact?
What if it was OK for me to want that now
Want that more than being perfect?
I’ll still be doing my best, and I won’t be perfect,
but I will be enough
enough to celebrate
enough to be open and receiving
to receiving everything I want?
What if I could  put my arm around myself and say, great job!
I’ve never done that
But it would be cool
because the entire universe will shift on its axis
and start delivering to me
more reward
more love
more praise
more money
more validation
That would feel amazing
totally amazing.
I am open to letting that all in
letting in love
letting in praise
letting in reward
letting in money
letting in validation
it feels so nourishing
it feels so nourishing

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you


This vow of perfection is something for you to think about and shift on a day to day basis.  This is a long and deeply held habit and you will start to become more aware of it and hear it.   And you will probably struggle with confusion about, “doesn’t it make sense? don’t I want to be great at what I do? I don’t want to be a slacker and be less”

You’ll have self talk like this and that is OK because that is you being super aware, super conscious.  AND remember, every time you hear yourself say, “Could of done better, should of known better….. you attract to yourself material things that reflect…” I don’t deserve yet, and I should prove myself more!”  That scenario is a FACT …. do you really want to attract that?

Sending Love & Light



Call in your Divine help,  take a few deep breaths and sink into your body, feeling your feet on the floor and your body supported in the chair.

Let your mind drift to an event where you thought you could of done better, or to an event you are putting off because you know you can …. do better … like a product or service launch, a talk, a webinar,

Really tune into the movie of you in this event and notice the part where you really should’ve known better, you really should of been better, or done something differently.
And see yourself there, making the mistakes or doing the thing that wansn’t good enough, or the thing that was so stupid and you should of known better.

Lets tapp:

There I am
what an idiot
I should of known better
I should of been better
I should of been smarter
I should of figured this out
I should of trained longer
I should of worked harder
and maybe people told me it was great
and I nodded to appease them
but inside
I knew ,,, It could of been so much better
and I really never let it go
why should I
I need to learn that lesson
because I am right about thighs
I could of done it better
I should of done it better
and I am so right about that
and I am never going to say I am wrong
because I know, for a fact
that I could of done better
and I should of been smarter
I should of found a way to make it better
I should of figured it out
and there were a lot of consequences
and I am not going to let it go

Its not that I wont forgive myself
I am just diasppointed,
Im disappointed in myself
Again
I am always disappointed in myself
because I could of done better
and that makes perfect sense
I should of known better
 Should of done better
 I hold myself to very high standard
and I think that is a good thing
I am disappointed in myself
And I say that to myself a lot
and every time I do
I declare that I don’t deserve yet
and that is exactly what I am experiencing
I’m not paid well enough yet
I did not get the validation I deserve yet
People don’t see my amazingness
so I just put my head down
and keep striving harder
I don’t celebrate progress
I simply say to myself
I’ve got to be better
I should of known better
 I should of done better
This is how I motivate myself
Its a ruthless way of motivating myself
and I am always reminding myself
that I don’t deserve yet
Because I am not doing it right yet
and it has to be better
I have a vow to be perfect
To do everything right all the time
not to other peoples standard, their
standards are too low
but to my standards,
 my standards
and every time I  disappoint myself
I say I don’t deserve yet
and that is the EXACT result showing up for me
and Iam just going to honor
that
a lifetime of being hard on myself
and justifying it
a lifetime of never measuring up
never
I always have to be better
and my inner critic never takes a day off
I could of done it bette
 this goes on day and night
sometimes it wakes me up
this feeling of
I could of done better
and it punishes me,
so I am calling it out for what it is
ruthless,
mean
a lifetime of being mean to myself
I took this vow to be noticed as special & lovable
to be of deserveng of attention and praise
to protect myself from criticism
and rejection
to protect myself from the feeling of criticism and rejection
of not being good enough
not good enough to deservee.

I and I am just gonna honor all of that

honoring it all
honoring it all
honoring it all

breathe.

It is very common for sadness to come up from this…. this is the biggest tear jerker, even for cut and dry, matter of fact achievers…. Sadness and tears is really self compassion, and self compassion opens your heart to love honor and accept YOU.

So, if sadness is up for you,  pause this video and tap thru the points on all the sadness, so your heart can open and love YOU.  So you can feel deserveing of reward, of love, of validation and acceptantce.  

As you tap thru your tears, your mind may want to fight for control and say, What is the point of all of this? Like, I am just crying for no reason … this makes no sense.

Even if that comes up or something like that, continue to stretch your own limits about giving yourself self compassion…. because … and here is another SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLE, SPIRITUAL TRUTH… the moment you start to criticize, you shut down and break your heart for whoever you are criticizing….in this case, yourself,  and with other people, can you see how criticizing others can make it really hard to connect and love them?

Think of a very young child learning to play soccer while a ruthless coach stands over them and yells at them…”you could of been better, what are you doing? what are you thinking, you should know how to do this by now, what, are you an idiot?

Would you even let that happen?  Zero encouragement, zero praise, zero reward … only “ you should do it better”

NO, that makes NO sense at tall, yet that is what you’ve been doing to yourself all day everyday, probably your entire lifetime.  Because when it could of been better, no matte how hard you’ve work, you NEVER allow yourself to feel good and to feel accomplished to feel awesome.  It could of been better takes the praise and celebration and just beats it aside and says, I don’t deserve it yet.   and energetically the same will show up in your life.  
no reward
no valication, no real feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment inside … just empty… and having to do it better, or work harder always having to do more to prove yourself.

You will attract people and situations that have to keep proving to yourself with very little reward…
is that what you really want to keep happening for you?

So, when sadness, or grief comes up, tap to clear it.  There is no need to do it in a special way, just honor the sadness and grief as you tap on a point while the emotion comes up.

This will unlock and move the energy of sadness that has been locked down in your personal basemennt….on the other side of all this tapping you will feel so much lighter.

It takes a tremendous amount of energy to hold down that grind and soldier on and get back to work, and be serious and not was a lot of time being emotional….that takes a TON of energy.

Lets clear some more:

This must of started when I was very young
I decided when I was really young
to become a little adult
and to be a little more serious about things
and I learned that I liked doing things well
and other people liked it when I did well to
But somewhere in there I decided I did not
want praise or support,
or did not get praise or support
and so I stopped allowing praise and support
I stopped myself
form letting the praise of others get 9oto me
because it was safer for me
to not even wan tit
I twas safer for me to not need praise
to not need reward
so I stopped letting it in
and I focused on achieveng
and my own inner standard
around perfection
I stopped looking for praise nd support
because I never got it
maybe I got criticized
maybe I got ignored
maybe my parents were just clueless I needed all that
but either way
I become self realiant
to not need praise
to not need reward
so I stopped letting it in
And my inner critic has been
hypervigilant,
looking for fault
looking for whats wrong
looking for what I could of done better
Its done such a good job
and I honor it
I am honoring my inner critic who
wanted to keep me safe
safe from criticism,
safe from abandonment
safe from crushing shame
I am honoring my inner critic
who is almost like an inner bully
I am honoring all the times
My inner critic has been hard on me
finding fault
finding what more I could of done.
And I justify all of this
I justify by setting an impossibly high standard
that I can never meet
that actually makes me feel hurt
and not enough
that has broken my own heart
and there is still a lot of sadness in my system
I really want to forgive myself for all of these things
I really want to forgive myself for falling short
I’d love to find a way to forgive myself fo rnot being
perfect all the time


I don’t know if I can forgive myself
I’m not sure I deserve to forgive myself,
but I am willing to look for some self compassion,
I am willing to look for some self acceptance

What if it is OK to be perfect and imperfect at the same time?
What if it is OK to be powerful and broken
amazing and flawed
What if I could love honor and accept those things about myself?
What if it is OK to just love myself anyhow
before I do, acheive, accomplish anything more?
What if it is OK to love myself anyhow
before I’ve proven anything?
I wonder if I can learn to love myself now
I wonder if I can honor that I”ve always been doing my best
I’ve always been doing my best
I’ve always been doing my best, and that is a fact.

yes, I am definitely willing to forgive myself for not being perfect
I am willing to forgive myself for not being better
for not being perfect
Its safe to forgive myself
I deserve to forgive myself
its possible to forgive myself

forgiving myself
forgiving myself
giving myself unconditional love
giving myself unconditional love

thank you
thank you
thank you.


OK,

more tears….. if you need to pause this video and tap more on any resistance to you forgiving yourself for not being perfect go ahead and do that and come back to tap in the reward and deserveingness of being enough.


Ok, lets tap in some positive, so you can shift your power from striving with little to no reward, to arriving in style with joy, deservingness, fulfillment and reward.

What if it was OK to love myself now
Before I’ve done anything else
What if it is OK to say in this moment, I am deserveng
to say, I deserve everything I am wanting.
and it is OK to want what I am wanting
to be validated
to be seen for my brilliance
for my amazingness
for my unique skills and talents
to been seen as a well compensated expert?
to be seen as a person of value and impact?
What if it was OK for me to want that now
Want that more than being perfect?
I’ll still be doing my best, and I won’t be perfect,
but I will be enough
enough to celebrate
enough to be open and receiving
to receiving everything I want?
What if I could  put my arm around myself and say, great job!
I’ve never done that
But it would be cool
because the entire universe will shift on its axis
and start delivering to me
more reward
more love
more praise
more money
more validation
That would feel amazing
totally amazing.
I am open to letting that all in
letting in love
letting in praise
letting in reward
letting in money
letting in validation
it feels so nourishing
it feels so nourishing


This vow of perfection is something for you to think about and shift on a day to day basis.  This is a long and deeply held habit and you will start to become more aware of it and hear it.   And you will probably struggle with confusion about, “doesn’t it make sense? don’t I want to be great at what I do? I don’t want to be a slaker and be less”

You’ll have self talk like this and that is OK because that is you being super aware, super conscious.  AND remember, every time you hear yourself say, “Couold of done better, should of known better….. you attract to yourself material things that reflect…” I don’t deserve yet, and I should prove myself more!”  That scenario is a FACT …. do you really want to attract that?

Share With Your Tribe!
Grace Mosgeller

Grace Mosgeller loves to guide ambitious, heart centered entrepreneurs ​embrace a Mindset of Wealth and systematically "pluck out" the ROOT causes of self sabotaging behaviors. On the otherside of any of her programs or 1-1 transformation packages is the FREEDOM to MAKE< KEEP & ENJOY more money & success. Having overcome major "blocks to success" herself, she uses her 20 years of spiritual coaching and healing expertise to help everyday business owners master their money story and step more fully into a balanced life of abundance, enlightenment and thriving.

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